You ask if everything is kosher

Pepperoni pizza is worse than living in Arkansas… or dare I say it, Texas

God forbid a cheeseburger comes within 25 ft of you

Synagogue is more of a joke then church

You know you are Christian when…

The bible is a recommendation

Your mom drives a minivan

There are more denominations then the number of bible versus you memorized

The Pope is a really old guy that only really old women listen to

You know you are Muslim when…

You get in trouble for taking off your sister’s burka

Your sister looks better with the burka on

You get strip searched at the airport then they put you through their “random” screenings

When you finally get to your destination your luggage is missing

When you get your luggage back there are three different notes saying your bag was checked

Your toothpaste was taken because “it could explode”

You know you are Mormon when…

You are more likely to be a contestant on Jerry Springer than the Price is Right

You have 26.5 step-moms and 87 stepsiblings and still can’t choose the father

Warren Jeffs is your homeboy

Utah is the new Mecca

You know you are atheist when…

You drive a nice car

You eat what you want

You have one dad and one mom

Your siblings have the same parents that you do

You know the meaning of happiness

Charles Darwin really is your homeboy

You're smart

You know Hillary Clinton is president when…

Frogger is banned for the violent smashing of trucks into frogs

We actually have healthcare

Bill is giving and not receiving

We fear two days a month

You know Barack Obama is president when…

We live in Ameristan

When we have another Civil War between the northites and southiies and we just forget the Hawaids and Alaskids

You know Mitt Romney is president when…

There are more Americans in Canada than Canadians

You know Rudy Giuliani is president when…

We have drive-thru divorces

More will be added...enjoy.

-Matt